Saturday, November 20, 2010

Happy Eid

I hope everyone had a Happy Eid. I know it's a little late but things have been crazy lately, sorry.

I need a little help understanding something.

So as I wrote before the bf and I are taking a break. In my mind a break means some time off for each of us to recollect our thoughts, have some alone time, etc. Yes I initiated the break because that's exactly what I needed. I even went as far as saying my feelings haven't changed towards you, its just that I need to figure things out for myself.

So someone please explain to me why a few days ago he unleashed the monster in him. He went on that what I'm doing (taking the break) is not cool and that I must have found someone else. Since when did saying I need a break to figure out what I'm going to do in my life (i.e. how I'm going to achieve my goals/dreams) mean I found someone else?

In a way this break has shown me a side of him that I really don't like. Honestly if the situation was reversed I would have respected his wishes and remained confident that things will go back to normal because most couples go through this. I would have periodically checked up on him to make sure he was ok and kept the distance. Is that too much to ask?

Instead I get a phone call in the middle of the night saying if I really want to end it then I should just end it. Please keep in mind that I received this call while I had the flu and food poisoning but he just blew over the fact that I said I'm sick and can't have this conversation now. I would have thought that he would have asked to see if I was feeling better the next day, but the joke was on me. Instead I got a message implying that I shouldn't have said what I was feeling.

Am I the only one that thinks this is just getting worse?

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Is this a sign?

So the bf and I are taking a break. I initiated it for a number of reasons.

One being is that I need to find my focus again which means I need to find my inner voice again. I don't want to be the kind of person that loses themselves when in a relationship. I don't want to give up on my dreams to goals to be in a relationship. Yes I'm sorry but I want it all a good relationship and remain on the path to achieving my dreams.

This is not to say that the bf was making me choose between him and my dreams but I felt like in a way I would have to give up on some things to make the relationship continue working. So this break is for me to think about things and weigh my priorities.

We've been on our break for about a week or so now and I feel differently. I can actually sleep, I feel like a kid again with endless possibilities and I'm gitty. Is this a sign?

Saturday, November 6, 2010

Lack of sleep

I'm back to lack of sleep. I have such a hard time falling asleep even though I am tired. I just wish I could fix my sleeping schedule. I miss those days when I'm so exhausted that I fall asleep the second my head hits the pillow.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010


Why do guys have to complicate things???? Why can't they just enjoy the moment??

I go from mmmmm loving the moment to thinking ugh why did he have to ruin the moment?

Guys either ruin things by moving too fast or by asking too many questions. And they think girls complicate things...ha ha ha ha