The past is still trying and I wish I could feel the same way, but I don't and it makes me feel sad and guilty that I'm hurting someone's feelings. I know disclosing one's feelings is not easy and not getting the ideal response is just horrible. :-( I hope that he finds someone that will make him happy and appreciate him, but I'm not that girl. I have been trying to convey this to him but he won't listen and now he's turned into Mr. Nasty.
So a piece of advice to all guys out there, don't do this. If you like a girl and she's not ready to either start a relationship or resume one, just respect her decision. Don't send her annoying text messages that make her change her overall opinion of you. Be cool. Really just be cool. You'll gain her respect and admiration for your maturity and who knows she might realize that she's wrong and you really are a catch.
He said: I can see why he's doing this, it's like wanting a forbidden fruit.
She said: I hate it. Why can't he just respect my decision?
He said: I've realized that men see you as innocent and vulnerable, as an easy prey, but what they don't know is how strong you really are. You're friendly by nature and they see that as their opening.
Ugh. I agree. It's annoying when guys don't understand that no means no. It can be flattering when someone wants you enough to not give up easily.... but that's not applied to when you've said, "I'm not interested."
ReplyDeleteBeing nice seems to make many guys think you're interested in them. I'm a warm person by nature as well, but after being molested in Costa Rica, I am very straight forward and tend to even be a little cold towards someone I'm not interested in.
Sometimes, being direct is seen as being "cold". But you know what? If it gets the guy to leave you alone, it's worth it, I think. It saves both people time and energy. Egos will be hurt and they might think you're mean, but being direct and making sure to use very little emotions when communicating your dis-interest seems to be working well for me. Caring too much about other people's fragile egos will only stress you out more... with these people, even when walking on eggshells, cracks to those shells are bound to happen--at some point or another. It can't be 100% your responsibility to make sure the other person is content all of the time. You know?
I hope this guy leaves you alone :P
:) Thanks Trisha, I think he's finally accepted my decision.
ReplyDeleteMolested?!?!?!? OMG I'm so sorry!!!!!!!!
I agree sometimes being cold is the best thing, but I think that's easier when you don't really know the person to begin with. When you know the person, either as a friend or friend of a friend, etc., I find it harder to be cold cause I actually feel guilty after doing it.
:) I completely agree!!! Just need a little practice.