Sorry for disappearing for a while but I was out of town and spent most of the time running around like a headless chicken. It was suppose to be a sort of vacation, but of course it ended up being one of those vacations that you need another vacation afterwards to recuperate from.
One of the things during this lovely vacation is that I ran into my past. We went out for coffee and the awkwardness set in right away. It was tough to sustain a conversation and it made me wonder how much I have changed in the past 5 months. The topic of getting being together was brought up, which was something I was trying very hard to side step. I just can't do it. I wish it were that easy, but it's not. There are too many differences to overlook.
That encounter just put a damper on my mood for a few days and it was followed by going to an engagement party. I have always loved my independence and knowing that I don't want to settle down for the sake of settling down, but because I reach a point where I don't want to live without that special person in my life. When I was looking around at the engagement party I got a little voice in my head ask me why I don't want the normal things that every girl in her mid-20s wants in life? Why am I not jumping with joy of the idea of marriage whenever it is brought up? This leads to the other question of why I'm not wanting to settle down to start a family as soon as possible? Am I living in a fairytale?
When the past asked why I didn't want to get married, I said it was because I liked my independence and that it's nice to know that I don't need to be taken care of, I can take care of myself. His response was what's wrong with you American girls? Is there something in the water there? This me wonder, what's wrong with not wanting to settle for the sake of settling down? What's wrong with trying to steer away from situations that you know will make you unhappy in the long term?